7 Strategies for Self-Leadership in times of trouble

Life and work are not always a bowl of cherries. Here are some strategies to manage yourself during the tough times when they inevitably come.

1. Differentiate between self-esteem, self-confidence

Self-esteem is not a thing! It is a process.

Self-esteem is not fixed it is dynamic. Self-esteem is a judgement on your esteeming or valuing. How do you value yourself as a human being?

Nobody gave you your dignity and so nobody can take it away. Your ability to think, emote (experience emotions) to speak and to act are yours and therefore highly valuable.

Self-confidence is a judgement about our capabilities or competencies. There are things we do well and things we have not yet mastered. Our self-confidence is just an audit of our skill sets and should be put into the context of 'there is no failure - only feedback'.

When viewed in this light we can develop and build our self-confidence without ever effecting our self-esteem.

2. Don't Personalise or Catastrophise

Understand that bad stuff happens, even to good people. The first step in learned helplessness is to make it personal, the "why does it have to happen to me" syndrome.

Asking the 'why' question can send you into a downward spiral.

Recognise the boundary between you and the world - me/not me. This enables you to contextualise the problem or situation and work towards a solution. By clearly differentiating your self-esteeming from the problem you can maintain a more objective and flexible approach. Catastrophising or personalising limits our options and can immobilise us in fear or self-defeat.

3. Set out a time frame to solution

 

When problems arise they can trick us in to believing they are forever. If you buy-in to the belief that the problem is permanent then you will be paralysed by dark thoughts. Realising that "this too shall pass" mobilises us to seek resolution and move our minds in the direction of a brighter future when the problem is behind us.How long will it take to solve this?

 

4. Take the problem to bits

Questions can break a problem into its component parts or reduce it to a manageable size.

• How specifically is this a problem?
• In what context is this a problem?
• According to whom is it a problem?
• What is this problem teaching me?

The last question can be a real eye opener as it presupposes that we learn from challenges and therefore become stronger.

5. Gather your resources

 

What do you need to know or whom do you need to speak to?Einstein said, "problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them".What resources can you access to raise your level of thinking?"Sometimes just speaking to someone can clarify your situation and enable you to see other possibilities.

6. Look after yourself

At times of stress we can often take the short cut to relaxation and turn to alcohol or sedatives. On the contrary it is it times of greatest problems that we need to burn off our stress hormones with exercise. Take the time to exercise, especially in the fresh air, as this can re-charge your batteries and give you the stamina to overcome your obstacle.Eat healthily, your brain and body needs their nutrients and whether this challenge is a marathon or a sprint, you will need the energy from good foods.One health food that is sometimes overlooked in time of stress is a large dose of laughter. Laughter has a remarkable effect on the immune system and is a major stress reliever. If necessary hire yourself a funny video for you daily dose.

7. Reaffirm your Values

 

What we value gives us the desire and passion to act. Sometimes during crisis we can lose sight of what we really value. This is not a time to let go of your ideals. By getting deeply in touch with your value and passion you find the energy and resources to overcome your problems. If it is worth having - it is worth the struggle.When you throw a javelin it is necessary to take your throwing arm and the javelin behind your head to gain maximum propulsion. So it is with life, that sometimes a setback can give you greater propulsion.Finally, remember that luck is an acronym for Laboring Under Correct Knowledge.